transparency; a new leaf.

For almost 3 years since I started this blog my subject matter weighed heavy on my mind. Counter-intuitive to the original function of this blog, an outlet for my writing. A literal challenge to myself to keep up with the mama Jones’s and not let motherhood change me. This pre-motherhood manifesto now emblemizes all that is defunct and deafening about our parenting culture in the United States:

I emphatically believed that being a mom didn’t have to change me.

That it wasn’t okay for my body to change in order to support healthy and evolutionarily biological functions of supporting my baby. That I shouldn’t have to alter the things I do for fun and recreation just because I had a child now. That my whole existence of being shouldn’t shift because my primary responsibility was now focused on a tiny human.

How utterly sad and shameful it is that the mainstream culture of stories and media presented to moms-to-be is one of romance of pregnancy and motherhood and a shaming of our bodies and emotions. An attack on post-feminism results that allows us, as women, as mothers, to have the myriad of choices that women in our mother’s and grandmother’s generations didn’t have. The choice to have an abortion, to wear what we want, to choose to work, or not work, to educate ourselves.

While I consider myself a feminist in many respects, there is a deep divisiveness in me that resents how our culture has turned these choices against us. Let them divide us as women and as mothers. More to come on that later. Today, I want to claim a new manifesto. A new challenge to myself as a mother.

I will accept myself and other parents for any choice they make that is best for them and their children. I will not judge myself or others for their failures, but empower and encourage us to fail fast and fail often. To be honest with each other about our failures and successes and contribute to a new culture of honesty, mediocrity, and cooperativeness in motherhood.

These last three years have shown me how important a village is to me in my journey of being a mama, and I feel so blessed to have come to where I am. May this reinvention of my blog serve as a new chapter in my life as a mom and inspire us all to be more accountable to ourselves and each other in the truth of parenthood.


Posted by:deconstructedmama

One thought on “Re-launched

  1. You are correct Laura. Even when I had my sons, in the early 80’s, there was a conflict between those Moms who worked and those who did not. I was very fortunate to have a choice in not working until the youngest started kindergarten. It was a balancing act, even through high school years, of work, illness, kid’s activities and my involvement in the community. I was blessed with a very active, hands on husband who juggled his work responsibilities with those of being a husband and father as well as being active in our Church. Being a Mom is stressful. I failed countless times and I had a terrific support system of both family and friends who became family. I think being a Mom helps you grow in ways you could not imagine when you begin the Motherhood journey. The greatest joy is seeing your children mature, begin careers, marry and have children of their own. The continuum of life which results in precious grandchildren. Love you.

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